I find the fact that a lot of people cannot tell my joking/being serious apart somewhat disturbing.

I just want to go back and erase my blatant over-usage of emoticons. Ugh.

Egad.

Coach Taylor (from the absolutely amazing TV series Friday Night Lights) said there's respect in setting a goal and getting out to achieve that goal. There's no disrespect in it, unless you start doubting yourself and not finishing what you started.

Too bad that's me a thousand times over.

Back from hiatus, screamed the lonely dust speck

Wow I used to... BLOG?! WHAT IS THIS. Reading back, I was a lot... peppier and energetic about things. Such as getting riled up over Sarah Palin or Tim Geithner. And people in general. And things such as the economy, or how teenagers can't get over themselves.

I think I've mellowed out a lot, and I'm a lot less judgmental on things and a lot more ~live and let be. Simultaneously, I don't think I have the conviction to stand for anything. A lot of things have changed; for the better, I would hope.

For most of the people around me, aka friends, things are falling into place. Everything is going where they want it to. Getting a job, getting that internship, getting places, getting the girl, and going off to college. A satisfying conclusion to the high school saga.

 I would like to think I did good in high school, and in turn, high school did me some good. I mean, I missed a significant chunk of my four years (not to mention middle school) out sick, and I still got into UCSD! Woo. I honestly don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse. Do I celebrate because I got in despite everything that's happened, or do I grumble because I could have pushed myself to do so much more?

I'm still surprised how many people like don't hate me. It's a nice feeling. I have wonderful friends that I feel I am taking for granted.

As I continue perusing my previous blog entries, I realize I used to emphasize my getting sick a lot, like it defined me, and now I rarely talk about it at all. It's not as if I find it awkward, I just feel like I'm making my listener feel awkward/ unneeded sympathy towards something that happened ... 4 years ago? Wow that's a long time. Don't get me wrong, it's a big, big deal, and it changes your life. But I don't like the idea of a singular event defining who you are. It's the collective, the sum of every experience and person you come in contact with. It's like the hand you never wash that touches every surface, every thing, every other hand. The cumulative filth that is life.

 I remember being told that due to my experiences, regular things that might shock a person, don't phaze me, and I find that ever more true, and at the same time, false. Everyone has to deal with some sort of problem or issue or traged(y/ies) in their lives, and they each tackle it accordingly. Everyone's bothered by something. The degree of the problem, however, can differ tremendously.

 Girls, however, are a universal problem.

 I think I've been getting asked quite a few times now what my 'type' is. There are TYPES? Like flava-flavs you can order with rush delivery within 3-5 business days. I thought they all came jumbled up together, and you had to make sense of them all by your lonesome. They are terribly confusing, and almost never worth taking up.

Ugh. This talk about that perplexing gender has upset my delicate stomach, and I would rather not eat at 2:30 AM. So please, excuse this long ramble of words!

PS At any time, I hope I do not appear obnoxious, snooty, or pompous. I'm just, talking to myself. In my head. Through this. If that makes sense.

...

Will girls, even just people in general, ever start taking me seriously..?

Weeee.

Winter Break is incredibly boring and uneventful; and I mean that in the best way possible :D

I MISS YOU GUYS

I miss my friends...

On a side note, I think Debate Club went rather well!

On another side note, I'm terribly disorganized, in all aspects of my life.

On this last note, I miss you guys.