Well I refused to get one, to sign up. To give in to peer pressure, to succumb to the crowds, but, my friend got me a Facebook. -.-
Since I caved that easily, I wonder how well I'll do to alcohol, drugs, and tobacco...
Annnnnd... Hurray! Next week is finals... And my teachers are giving so much homework this week, eeeyaaaagggh. On the bright side, I don't have to go to karate. ^^
I should start from the beginning, eh? Well after New Year's and a couple days later, I rejoined school. Where I felt nauseous and tired due to my internal clock used to sleeping at 12 AM and waking up at 12 PM, now suddenly moved to 10 PM and 7 AM... D=
To make matters worse, the days were dark, gloomy, and cloudy. (Of course after that it rained and then the sun broke today, but let me pout, OK?) And of course, the homework load...
I'm a fucking bastard. Reminiscing about 6th grade, I remember Anirudh Ramesh. I remember how mean I was to him, how I used him as a scapegoat for my frustration. How he tried to fit in yet we rejected him. How we scorned him, with no retaliation.
And I remember Akash, whom I hadn't defended from the teacher. Mrs. Hamstra actually "attacked" him about being a bully and to stop picking on other kids. But he wasn't a bully, not in the least. He broke down, crying. And I just sat there and watched, too chicken to defend a friend.
I'm also a stupid jack-ass, so foolish about the real world. I believe just knowing will get you ahead, that life is easy. What an idiot I am. The actual world, sure you know about it, but until you've experienced the real thing, it's like an epiphany, how cruel and sadistic life really is.
You can have it all, then lose it the next second. You are promoted, and then your company closes. You finally make friends, then you move. You can meet your true love, and she is killed.
And looking back at my previous post, yeah, its like really stupid-sappy. But I try to drive home this one thing: Hope. You can bomb a city, level its buildings, torture its citizens. But as long as they have this one thing, they will continue to try and live. They will grow and survive. What is this? Hope.
And what, may I ask, inspires you to continue trying, to hope?
But for me, sometimes Life is beyond hope. . .
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2 comments:
ur not a fuckng bastad how many times do i have to tell u
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ur too niceliness!
Geez Nick. seriously, there's not much point in complaining about things that have happened already. Anyway, acting occasionally foolish hardly constitutes "a fking bastard". you're a good person. leave the insults for other people -______-.
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